My boyfriend wants me to get an abortion. What can I do?

Start by separating his opinion from your decision

You may care about your boyfriend's reaction and still need space to understand what you want. It is reasonable to pause, confirm the pregnancy, gather accurate information, and decide who you want beside you before another conversation.

Person-centered pregnancy counseling should respect your values, preferences, uncertainty, and autonomy. You do not have to reach a decision during an argument or on someone else's deadline.

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Know when pressure becomes reproductive coercion

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists describes pregnancy coercion as threats or controlling behavior intended to force someone to continue or end a pregnancy against their wishes.

• Threatening to hurt, leave, expose, or punish you unless you agree
• Controlling transportation, money, a phone, identification, or medical access
• Monitoring your conversations or refusing to let you speak with a health professional alone
• Trying to force either abortion or pregnancy continuation

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Make your next conversation private and practical

Talk privately with a licensed health professional, counselor, or trusted person who will not make the decision for you. Write down your questions about timing, health, parenting, adoption, abortion, safety, school, work, housing, and money before the conversation.

If it would not be safe for your boyfriend to know about an appointment or safety plan, use a device and contact method he cannot access.

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If you feel unsafe

Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 800-799-SAFE (7233), by texting START to 88788, or through its online chat. Consider using a safer device if your phone or browser may be monitored.

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